S3E02 - Creep from the Deep (Goosebumps HorrorLand #2)

[00:00:05] I frantically tried to keep afloat. I watched the two men. They were leaning over the treasure chest. I could see the scarlet skull glowing against the night sky. Roger reached down to open the chest. He was about to grab the scarlet jewel. The red skull glowed so brightly I could see everything clear as day. I saw Roger grab the skull. I heard Goldie scream, NOOOOOOO! I saw Goldie try to tug Roger away. Too late. The red skull snapped open its jaws and bit Roger's hand.

[00:00:34] And as the jaws clamped down, a fireball of white light burst over the boat. So bright the sea lit up all around us. And a powerful red current, like red lightning, blazed over wolf men. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz! For a second, their bodies lit up. I could see the bones under their skin. Trapped inside the crackling current, Roger and Goldie did a terrifying dance. Their arms flew wildly over their heads. Their whole bodies shook and shimmied. And then... their heads flew off.

[00:01:05] Hello. And welcome. To Say Podcast and Die. It's a podcast where two crews sit in a closet and talk to you about Goosebumps.

[00:01:13] I'm Alyssa. I'm Andy. And this week we are reading Goosebumps Horrorland No. 3. Two. Yeah, and this week we are reading Goosebumps Horrorland No. 2, Creep from the Deep.

[00:01:23] Yes, the return of the deeps. Billy of... what was it called?

[00:01:29] Deep Trouble.

[00:01:30] Deep Trouble 1 and Deep Trouble 2.

[00:01:32] Were people really clamoring for more Deep Trouble books?

[00:01:34] I mean, the first two were pretty good.

[00:01:36] Yeah.

[00:01:37] I mean, a lot of people hated the first one.

[00:01:38] Yeah, it was about freaking mermaids.

[00:01:40] Yeah. Do you know... I have a question about this closet.

[00:01:43] Mm-hmm.

[00:01:44] I want the GoosePunks to weigh in too. Why did the prior person who lived here put a coat hook one foot off the ground?

[00:01:51] What do you... like, that's what that is, right?

[00:01:53] No, I don't think it's a coat hook.

[00:01:55] Well, what's it for?

[00:01:56] I mean, it would have to be like a coat for a mouse.

[00:01:58] Yeah, I know. That's what I'm asking. Or like a slappy-sized dummy.

[00:02:01] Oh, okay.

[00:02:03] All right. We're back to Horrorland. Oh, GoosePunks, if you know why you'd have a coat hook like that, I can post a picture.

[00:02:09] You don't think we need to post a picture of this.

[00:02:11] I want to know.

[00:02:13] Okay.

[00:02:13] Why do you want to rain on my dreams?

[00:02:16] Let's talk about this cover.

[00:02:17] Okay, it's green. It's got an eel. It's got red eyes.

[00:02:22] Yeah, we're going maximalist again. This eel is green, unlike the albino eel that we'll get into.

[00:02:29] It has lots of big pointy teeth. There's some kind of island situation in the background.

[00:02:34] Is there? Is it a submarine?

[00:02:36] It's like going through a port hole in a submarine.

[00:02:40] Oh, yeah. You're right. Sorry. I wasn't paying attention to the whole thing. Yeah, it's broken glass. You're right.

[00:02:45] It's got weird little like nose things. Is that what eels look like?

[00:02:49] I don't think so.

[00:02:50] As like little suction kind of noses.

[00:02:51] No, it looks like a little dragon or catfish or something.

[00:02:53] And its teeth are dripping with saliva strings, which looks really fucking cool, right?

[00:02:59] I wonder if we check the reviews on Amazon. It'll say it's about freaking pirates.

[00:03:03] Yeah, not a Moria eel at all. And the last one wasn't about a little orange fish with pink eyes.

[00:03:09] Actually, so they talk about the albino eel in this, the giant albino eel.

[00:03:14] That's not what this is, though.

[00:03:15] No, that's green.

[00:03:17] Again, perhaps the covers are designed at a different moment than the book gets written.

[00:03:21] It looks cool, though, huh?

[00:03:23] Yeah. What's the bird's eye view of this one?

[00:03:25] The bird's eye view of this one that we read a while ago.

[00:03:29] Let me think.

[00:03:30] There was there's the deeps and they go look for a pirate ship and then they get transported into the world of the dead.

[00:03:38] And they accidentally end up with Billy ends up with the pirate's leg and he's trying to get it back.

[00:03:44] But they don't know because he didn't explain that.

[00:03:46] He just says, get me my treasure.

[00:03:47] Like, OK, well, we'll get your treasure or what's mine.

[00:03:50] So they think it's his treasure, but it's not.

[00:03:52] And there's also two other pirates who I guess are renegades from the ship who want the treasure and they explode.

[00:03:58] And then everything goes back to normal or does it?

[00:04:02] Yeah.

[00:04:03] I think they're from the other pirate ship.

[00:04:05] Oh, you're right.

[00:04:05] You kind of forget exists until they bring up that there was another pirate ship.

[00:04:10] So we open with Billy Deep's fantasy life of being a superhero called the Undersea Mutant.

[00:04:16] Yeah, he has not gotten over the last book, which even though it's 2008 now,

[00:04:20] I guess is recent for him.

[00:04:21] So remember how there was, I'm sure you've been, it's fast in your memory, Alyssa.

[00:04:26] There were mutant undersea creatures who were giant.

[00:04:30] I absolutely did not remember that.

[00:04:32] It was going to end world hunger.

[00:04:34] Oh, that's right.

[00:04:36] Wow.

[00:04:37] Yeah.

[00:04:38] So he is reenacting all those anxieties by imagining himself as a mutant fighting giant fish,

[00:04:44] even though the baddie in those previous books, I think, was the scientist experimenting with nature, not the fish.

[00:04:53] Yeah, you're totally right.

[00:04:54] I also feel like R.L.

[00:04:56] Stein was maybe having a little bit of fun here because he's fighting the giant albino eel.

[00:05:00] Oh, what do you mean?

[00:05:02] Just throw that out there that it's a little bit suggestive.

[00:05:05] Yeah, so is the cover.

[00:05:06] I mean, that is a veiny.

[00:05:07] I think that's why they made it green.

[00:05:11] That's a good point.

[00:05:14] Well, he's sort of pulled out of his fantasy life by his uncle, Dr. Deep, who is often called Dr. D in this one,

[00:05:21] who looks, quote unquote, just the way a scientist should look.

[00:05:26] What does that mean?

[00:05:27] I don't know.

[00:05:31] He, well, we had Dr. Malloy in the last book and he had big bushy hair and a stained shirt.

[00:05:37] This one, I think, has a lab coat and, like, a beard and glasses.

[00:05:40] That's how scientists should look, not like these slovenly anthropologists we got running around.

[00:05:45] Well, just, I don't know what Billy's parents are thinking, sending him and Sheena back after he got attacked by a shark last time.

[00:05:52] He has scars on his body from getting attacked by a shark.

[00:05:55] And now they're back, still going swimming in that same water.

[00:05:59] And Dr. Deep is teaching him how to throw a giant spear while his sister is swimming in the water underneath.

[00:06:05] Yes, he somehow thinks that Billy needs to know how to throw a spear.

[00:06:10] And also that they need to go check out his homemade submarine.

[00:06:13] And also we can tell it's 2008 because there's even more technology references.

[00:06:17] They're getting navigation maps via satellite.

[00:06:20] Oh, also, this ship normally has a crew of three or four, but he sends them home in the summer so Billy and Sheena can hang out.

[00:06:27] But, like, if you need a crew of three or four, I feel like you maybe don't have enough people to run your ship properly.

[00:06:34] Maybe it's not really his crew.

[00:06:35] Maybe it's his polycule.

[00:06:37] Or his grad students.

[00:06:38] Yeah.

[00:06:39] I mean, or, and.

[00:06:41] Yeah.

[00:06:42] So over dinner, before they go down in their low-rent submarine ride, which I kind of think none of them survived,

[00:06:51] they have grilled bluefish, which is a very timely reference because bluefish were wildly overfished in the late 1990s.

[00:06:59] But the stock was rebuilt by 2007.

[00:07:02] So are they basically on their way back to overfishing them now?

[00:07:05] Probably.

[00:07:06] Oh, I meant in the book.

[00:07:07] Like, they're like, the stocks are back.

[00:07:08] Let's decimate them.

[00:07:09] Clear it out.

[00:07:10] Yeah.

[00:07:11] And that's when they learn that they're going to be looking for a sunken pirate ship called the Scarlet Skull.

[00:07:17] This information, by the way, about where it is or might be was just emailed to him.

[00:07:22] So.

[00:07:22] By who?

[00:07:23] I didn't catch that.

[00:07:24] I didn't catch that either.

[00:07:25] But he got it by email, which, again, it's still pretty novel in this book.

[00:07:28] Yeah, yeah.

[00:07:29] To be able to get email on ships, too.

[00:07:30] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:31] I think that was, like, pretty recent because my dad worked on ships.

[00:07:33] And it wasn't until I was towards the end of high school I think we were able to email him.

[00:07:38] So that would be a little before this.

[00:07:40] Well, so the legend is that there were two pirate ships.

[00:07:44] One watched the other one disappear into a swirling black cloud.

[00:07:47] And it had lots of treasure on it.

[00:07:49] It also had a captain named Long Ben One Leg.

[00:07:53] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:56] And that is as good a name as the albino eel.

[00:07:59] Mm-hmm.

[00:08:00] The giant albino eel.

[00:08:01] Long Ben One Leg.

[00:08:03] Like, he – some people think the sea swallowed him because he was too evil.

[00:08:07] He would throw people into a tub of hungry rats that he kept on his ship.

[00:08:11] Sometimes he'd just do it because he was bored, which seems like kind of an inefficient way to run a ship.

[00:08:17] Yeah, I mean, I guess if you need to downsize.

[00:08:20] But also keeping a lot of rats on board does sound like a bad idea on a ship.

[00:08:24] Yeah.

[00:08:26] Maybe that's why the ship sank.

[00:08:27] I don't know.

[00:08:28] Yeah, it's full of holes.

[00:08:29] Yeah.

[00:08:29] That would check out.

[00:08:31] Yeah, it's not clear why it sank.

[00:08:33] It sailed into a cloud and disappeared.

[00:08:37] Yeah.

[00:08:37] Which I guess is like a Flying Dutchman sort of a story.

[00:08:40] I think so.

[00:08:41] Not having actually read that story.

[00:08:44] Well, that's why I said I think so.

[00:08:46] I have a question.

[00:08:48] Could you actually have a tub of hungry rats or would they be kind of eating each other?

[00:08:53] Or leaving the tub to do their own thing?

[00:08:56] Yeah.

[00:08:56] Like, what kind of tub is this?

[00:08:57] Because I feel like if it's not airtight, they're getting out.

[00:08:59] Maybe he trained them and he whistles and they all come get in the tub.

[00:09:02] Oh.

[00:09:03] Like, feed us a human.

[00:09:04] And they're just hungry because they're growing boys.

[00:09:06] Yeah.

[00:09:07] Yeah.

[00:09:08] It's not that he keeps them hungry.

[00:09:10] Okay.

[00:09:11] So he's not a ghost, by the way.

[00:09:12] Yeah.

[00:09:12] Dr. Deep makes sure to say he's a scientist.

[00:09:15] He doesn't believe in ghosts.

[00:09:16] So they're probably zombies.

[00:09:18] And then Billy starts hearing voices in his head.

[00:09:21] They're saying, I'm waiting for you.

[00:09:24] And he's creeped out, but he knows that the undersea mutant wouldn't be scared.

[00:09:29] He'd be excited.

[00:09:29] So he tries to channel that energy.

[00:09:32] Mm-hmm.

[00:09:32] Yeah.

[00:09:33] So then Dr. Deep shows them a submersible of his own design.

[00:09:37] Recall that he is a marine biologist, not an engineer.

[00:09:42] Luckily, he also immediately shows them how to pilot the ship.

[00:09:45] Yeah.

[00:09:46] Because –

[00:09:46] It's, like, kind of a lengthy description.

[00:09:48] It's like, oh, you put your right foot here.

[00:09:49] It's like – like, he basically describes it like driving a car.

[00:09:53] Yeah.

[00:09:53] And it's good – again, it's good that he does.

[00:09:55] But I don't know why we need to get the whole description instead of a line saying

[00:09:58] he explained to us how to pilot the ship.

[00:10:00] Maybe –

[00:10:00] Maybe it's foreshadowing and we'll need it later.

[00:10:02] We just don't realize.

[00:10:02] Oh, shit.

[00:10:03] I hope not.

[00:10:04] Last place I want to be.

[00:10:05] No, you would never get me in a submersible.

[00:10:07] No.

[00:10:07] But it might be our future, you know?

[00:10:09] Like, I assume happens in Tank Girl, not having seen that movie either.

[00:10:13] Right?

[00:10:13] It's like a water world.

[00:10:14] Oh, a water world.

[00:10:15] That's the movie I'm thinking of.

[00:10:18] I haven't – yeah.

[00:10:21] Yeah.

[00:10:21] Okay.

[00:10:25] Well, the next afternoon they go diving.

[00:10:28] Yeah.

[00:10:29] The other thing Dr. Deep says is if the pressure holds, we should be able to get close to the

[00:10:34] sunken ship.

[00:10:35] And Billy does not find the first part of that sentence very reassuring.

[00:10:38] No.

[00:10:38] He hasn't tested this out.

[00:10:40] And he –

[00:10:42] Well, now he's got children with him, so it's a good time as any.

[00:10:45] I really feel like their parents don't want them to come back.

[00:10:49] Yeah.

[00:10:49] They've had some pretty intense summers with Dr. Deep, including also getting almost killed

[00:10:55] by bounty hunters, basically.

[00:10:58] Mm-hmm.

[00:10:59] But, you know, childcare is expensive.

[00:11:01] It's true for a whole summer.

[00:11:03] Mm-hmm.

[00:11:03] Well, here is where I think they died.

[00:11:06] Okay.

[00:11:06] So they go down.

[00:11:08] They see all this coral formations that look like underwater ghosts.

[00:11:11] And then the submarine stalls out.

[00:11:13] And a huge black cloud rolls toward them, which I'm guessing is unconsciousness or maybe the

[00:11:20] bends.

[00:11:23] Yeah.

[00:11:23] And then the engine dies.

[00:11:25] They feel like they're being pulled into a cave.

[00:11:27] And then they hear this sound that sounds like a coffee can opening.

[00:11:30] Like a coffee can opening.

[00:11:31] And I assume that's the sub collapsing.

[00:11:34] Right.

[00:11:34] And killing them all.

[00:11:35] Yeah.

[00:11:35] That is also my assumption.

[00:11:37] The pressure didn't hold.

[00:11:38] This part of the book is actually terrifying to me.

[00:11:40] Yeah.

[00:11:41] Well, when the lights come back on, Dr. Deep is gone.

[00:11:45] And Billy, having been just instructed in how to run the submersible, starts the engine.

[00:11:49] But a ship starts coming for them.

[00:11:52] And then they're drawn into what must be the Scarlet Skull.

[00:11:55] It's got a tractor beam or something like it's the Death Star.

[00:11:58] Yeah.

[00:11:59] And then they see a grinning skull outside the porthole, because they can see now.

[00:12:04] And a skeleton tries to break in.

[00:12:06] Yeah.

[00:12:07] So I thought that the descriptions of zombie pirate skeletons were really cool.

[00:12:11] They're all encrusted with crabs and snails.

[00:12:14] And they keep having worms crawling in and out of their eye sockets and stuff.

[00:12:18] Well, luckily, Sheena saves the day.

[00:12:20] She gets the engine working with the tried and true method of hitting it until it works.

[00:12:24] They surface.

[00:12:25] And they're really excited to be able to breathe oxygen.

[00:12:28] But the Cassandra, which is Dr. D's ship, is nowhere to be seen.

[00:12:31] No one knows they're out there.

[00:12:33] They're just all alone.

[00:12:35] Luckily, there's an island nearby.

[00:12:37] So they swim to it.

[00:12:39] But Billy injures his leg getting out of the submersible.

[00:12:42] Yeah.

[00:12:42] I totally don't understand how, because he somehow dives off of the submarine onto the

[00:12:48] submarine.

[00:12:49] Yeah.

[00:12:50] Maybe he's just clumsy.

[00:12:51] Yeah.

[00:12:52] He didn't actually dive.

[00:12:53] He just fell off the submersible.

[00:12:54] Yeah.

[00:12:55] He smacks his leg on it.

[00:12:57] But then he swims with his injured leg to the island.

[00:12:59] I mean, you and I both would not have survived this.

[00:13:01] No.

[00:13:02] We probably wouldn't have done it in the first place.

[00:13:04] But no, we would not have.

[00:13:06] So they get to shore.

[00:13:07] And Sheena gives him a stick to lean on since his leg is injured.

[00:13:12] Yeah.

[00:13:12] She finds this piece of bleached driftwood.

[00:13:15] Very mysterious.

[00:13:16] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:18] What's even more mysterious to me is why Billy decides to call it his golden staff

[00:13:22] of invincibility handed down by the Eternals.

[00:13:25] Yeah.

[00:13:25] It becomes part of his undersea mutant mythology.

[00:13:28] Yeah.

[00:13:29] It's his own little MCU.

[00:13:31] And I just don't even think we need to get into phallic imagery at this point.

[00:13:35] I mean...

[00:13:36] No.

[00:13:37] You know it.

[00:13:37] We know it.

[00:13:38] Yeah.

[00:13:39] You know, these are all books about adolescence and discovering yourself and, you know.

[00:13:43] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:45] We'll move along.

[00:13:46] Well, the island is eerily silent, but they find footsteps coming out of the water.

[00:13:51] They follow the footprints and they find a skeleton in rotting clothes, but they realize

[00:13:56] that the footprints are fresh.

[00:13:58] Yeah.

[00:13:59] And this team is all...

[00:14:02] This pirate team all has logos.

[00:14:04] They have a little logo of red skull and crossbones on their outfits.

[00:14:08] Like it's like Lacoste.

[00:14:09] Yeah, exactly.

[00:14:10] On their polos.

[00:14:13] I think bone footprints is a cool image.

[00:14:15] Agreed.

[00:14:16] So they see more footprints and they start to run and then they fall into a sand pit.

[00:14:21] And they hear chanting.

[00:14:23] The bones they crack.

[00:14:24] The bones they creep.

[00:14:26] The men come alive in the briny deep.

[00:14:28] You ended our death.

[00:14:29] You ended our sleep.

[00:14:30] The men come alive in the briny deep.

[00:14:32] So come with us.

[00:14:34] Come with the men.

[00:14:35] Come meet your fate with Captain Ben.

[00:14:37] You've got really the rhyme of a cheer at the end there.

[00:14:40] Come with us.

[00:14:41] Come with the men.

[00:14:42] Yeah.

[00:14:42] Uh-huh.

[00:14:43] Uh-huh.

[00:14:43] And the briny deep, yeah.

[00:14:44] Yeah.

[00:14:45] Okay.

[00:14:45] So I wasn't trying to be as flip as I may have sounded about the polycule thing earlier,

[00:14:51] but I guess I kind of just wonder, like, could it be that this is their fantastical horror

[00:14:58] version of-

[00:14:59] The YMCA?

[00:15:02] Yeah.

[00:15:02] I just wonder if, like, Billy and Sheena, they have these trad parents and then they go

[00:15:07] off with Dr. Deep, who lives his freewheeling, swing-our-lifestyle, and they're like, we don't

[00:15:14] know what's going on here, but they can come up with a horror version of it in their head

[00:15:18] where there's all these dudes hanging out being shady together.

[00:15:21] Well, even though also Stranger Danger wasn't as much at the forefront, I think, of the discourse

[00:15:27] in 2008, R.L.

[00:15:29] Stein, you know, raised a kid during that time and would have been really familiar with

[00:15:33] it.

[00:15:33] Like, there's, like, a whole generation where it's like, oh, don't go with the strange

[00:15:36] man, even if he offers you candy or treasure.

[00:15:39] Which was tied up in this sort of-

[00:15:41] It was in homophobic rhetoric, too.

[00:15:43] Yeah.

[00:15:43] They were- Not that, like, you know, obviously there are, like, the Stranger Danger rhetoric

[00:15:47] had a grounding in reality, but it was used to amplify homophobic fears, just like now

[00:15:52] when people call people- What is it?

[00:15:55] Not recruiters.

[00:15:56] Oh, groomers, yeah.

[00:15:57] Groomers, yeah.

[00:15:58] Yeah, there's, like, a tie between Stranger Danger and anti-queerness.

[00:16:03] Yeah.

[00:16:04] Well, some of the skeletons still have faces, and they're getting distorted by having been

[00:16:10] in the water so long.

[00:16:11] So there's some really also just gross imagery happening in this section.

[00:16:14] And they, like, smell bad, and their skin slips off in their hands.

[00:16:18] And Captain Ben shows up.

[00:16:21] He's got Dr. Deep with him.

[00:16:22] Yeah, the skeletons pull him out of the sand trap.

[00:16:24] And there's a great description of his eyes, which look like soft eggs set deep into the

[00:16:30] sockets.

[00:16:31] Yeah, it's gross.

[00:16:33] Captain Ben says that he wants what's his, but he does not elaborate.

[00:16:37] That's exactly what I wrote.

[00:16:38] Yeah, this is a real, like, communication issue.

[00:16:40] You could have cut the next however many pages.

[00:16:43] Yeah, I wrote, he does not elaborate.

[00:16:44] Like, it's a goofy rom-com.

[00:16:46] Yeah, exactly.

[00:16:46] Exactly.

[00:16:47] Mm-hmm.

[00:16:48] And then they fight a snake and run into a couple of guys.

[00:16:53] Yeah.

[00:16:53] Oh, yeah, they leave the pirates.

[00:16:54] Like, my pirates were scared.

[00:16:56] They run away.

[00:16:56] Billy uses his undersea mutant fantasies to sort of, like, psych himself up.

[00:17:00] Yeah.

[00:17:00] Roger Baldry and Goldie Monroe.

[00:17:03] They're very interested in the treasure, and they want the kids to bring them to it.

[00:17:07] Oh.

[00:17:07] But they say that they're photographers.

[00:17:09] I have a side note on those names.

[00:17:10] So, Roger Baldry.

[00:17:11] Mm-hmm.

[00:17:12] There was a blues musician called Long John Baldry, who died in 2005.

[00:17:17] A few years.

[00:17:17] So, I don't know if R.L.

[00:17:18] R.L.

[00:17:18] I was a blues fan.

[00:17:19] And the other guy's Roger.

[00:17:21] So, he had a brother named Roger.

[00:17:24] Yeah.

[00:17:25] Yep.

[00:17:26] And I also found a Goldie Monroe, who was a lady who was 10 years old, living in Yam Hill,

[00:17:33] Oregon in 1940.

[00:17:35] So, I don't know.

[00:17:37] That's not his real name, but yeah.

[00:17:38] Well, yeah.

[00:17:39] Goldie is called Goldie because he has a gold tooth.

[00:17:41] Uh, yeah.

[00:17:42] Yeah, just putting out words.

[00:17:44] Saying words.

[00:17:45] That's all we're ever doing.

[00:17:46] Things I Googled.

[00:17:48] They assure the kids that they don't want to take the treasure because it would be a

[00:17:51] bureaucratic nightmare because it technically belongs to the government of Karibo, where

[00:17:56] they are.

[00:17:56] Yeah.

[00:17:57] And the kids are like, well, we don't like this, but we like the skeletons even less.

[00:18:02] And these guys manage to, like, destroy the skeletons.

[00:18:06] Yeah.

[00:18:06] They kind of just punch them, right?

[00:18:09] Mm-hmm.

[00:18:09] They shoot them.

[00:18:10] Do you remember?

[00:18:11] Yeah, something like that.

[00:18:12] They don't shoot them.

[00:18:13] They don't.

[00:18:14] No, they just mostly hit them.

[00:18:15] Um, but they're skeletons, so they're not, like, held together by much at this point.

[00:18:19] Yeah.

[00:18:19] And also, they break apart, but that doesn't mean they can't still do anything because

[00:18:22] there are skeleton hands clinging to the sides of their boat and one, like, pops off and

[00:18:26] grabs Billy's ankle.

[00:18:27] And then they do a fist bump, which is pretty funny.

[00:18:30] Yeah.

[00:18:30] Except he calls it touching knuckles.

[00:18:31] Yeah.

[00:18:32] I was wondering if that's just the British version or if that's how it is.

[00:18:35] Because, yeah, it keeps saying that.

[00:18:36] It said in another of the books, too, like, they touched knuckles.

[00:18:39] Yeah.

[00:18:39] And it just makes it sound really kind of weird.

[00:18:41] Yeah, just, like, slow.

[00:18:43] Uh-huh.

[00:18:44] Like, massaging, sort of.

[00:18:46] We're doing it right now.

[00:18:49] If you have the U.S. version, let us know.

[00:18:51] Or is this, like, a...

[00:18:52] Oh, go ahead.

[00:18:53] Did they touch knuckles or did they bump fists?

[00:18:54] Yeah.

[00:18:55] And is this, like, a taco chips thing where R.L. Stine just forgot what something was

[00:18:58] called?

[00:18:58] Yeah.

[00:18:59] The baddies are diving to the ship after the kids show them where the ship is.

[00:19:05] And they're submersible, too, because it's the same spot.

[00:19:08] Yeah.

[00:19:08] And meanwhile, Sheena realizes that in the photographer's bags are actually guns.

[00:19:14] Yeah.

[00:19:15] The men come back up with the treasure.

[00:19:17] And while they're taking their diving masks off, Goldie's face comes off.

[00:19:22] Yeah.

[00:19:22] Apparently, they ripped off some people's skin and put it over their own faces.

[00:19:26] Some fishermen.

[00:19:27] They stole their clothes and their faces.

[00:19:29] Yeah.

[00:19:29] And then they throw the kids into the water, but then it goes real Indiana Jones all of

[00:19:33] a sudden.

[00:19:34] That's exactly it.

[00:19:35] Because they open the treasure and there's this jeweled skull, or rather this jewel in

[00:19:41] the shape of a skull, and it, like, bites them.

[00:19:44] Yeah.

[00:19:44] And then they get electrocuted and red lightning goes everywhere and their heads fly off and

[00:19:49] there's nothing left but piles of bones and ash.

[00:19:53] Oh, they also explained that they were on the ship that watched the scarlet skull disappear,

[00:19:57] and they had all, they'd been wanting the treasure since the 1780s.

[00:20:01] Yeah.

[00:20:02] So I don't know why it took till today.

[00:20:04] Well, I think they, they aren't able to dive that.

[00:20:07] Actually, they have diving equipment now.

[00:20:08] Yeah.

[00:20:08] Maybe they just didn't know where it was.

[00:20:09] Where'd they get the cameras?

[00:20:10] Where'd they find these other fishermen?

[00:20:11] They don't have cameras, I don't think.

[00:20:12] Well, where'd they find these fishermen?

[00:20:14] Those fishermen must also be dead.

[00:20:15] Yeah.

[00:20:16] Because we learned they're in the world of the dead.

[00:20:17] No, but, like, they had to have gotten to the fishermen.

[00:20:20] They're already in the world of the dead.

[00:20:21] These are pirates from the 1780s, right?

[00:20:24] Yeah.

[00:20:24] Maybe the fishermen also wandered into the black cloud.

[00:20:26] Yeah, that must be it.

[00:20:28] Then I guess they were kind of screwed anyway, so it's probably fine.

[00:20:32] So this is getting a little ahead of ourselves.

[00:20:34] I think to save time, they bump into the Cassandra and then the Scarlet Skull just suddenly pops up and Dr. D is on there.

[00:20:44] So we don't have to deal with any logistics of going back and forth.

[00:20:47] Yeah.

[00:20:48] Well, they bring the treasure to Ben and he says, no, I want what's mine.

[00:20:52] I want my leg.

[00:20:54] Yeah, apparently it's a leg bone.

[00:20:55] Yeah.

[00:20:56] Which, I mean, then he's not really long been one leg, is he?

[00:21:00] He's long been two legs.

[00:21:01] One is made of bone.

[00:21:02] The other is probably also made of bone.

[00:21:05] Maybe it's his missing leg.

[00:21:07] Oh, maybe the other leg.

[00:21:08] Maybe he just has his fake leg but not his bone leg.

[00:21:11] Oh, no.

[00:21:11] I think he has a leg attached to him and then nothing.

[00:21:15] And he wants the leg that goes to – he wants the bone that goes to his second leg.

[00:21:19] That's how I understand.

[00:21:20] Oh, so he just found it.

[00:21:21] But why was he called long been one leg if he had two legs before?

[00:21:24] Well, he lost his leg at some point.

[00:21:26] And for some reason he wanted to find – maybe he had the bone on the ship with him.

[00:21:30] Like, I don't know.

[00:21:31] Yeah, I don't either.

[00:21:34] I love the question for you so I think he'll do it.

[00:21:40] I guess you're right.

[00:21:43] He probably wouldn't have been called two legs if he was just a guy with two.

[00:21:48] Well, after he gets his bone, he wants to double cross them.

[00:21:52] But Billy acts fast and instead of giving him his bone, he bones him with his bone.

[00:21:59] Yeah, he throws it like a spear like Dr. Deep taught him to.

[00:22:02] Yeah, it's a big boner.

[00:22:04] Yeah, it all comes back around.

[00:22:05] I feel like in Goosebumps Horrorland, Arlstein has gotten really good at making things that happen in the book come around and have a reason to have happened.

[00:22:14] Yeah, we're two for two.

[00:22:16] It goes right through Ben one leg and he falls overboard.

[00:22:21] And then the scarlet skull breaks apart.

[00:22:23] Yeah, I don't understand why it killed him.

[00:22:24] I don't understand why it killed his ship.

[00:22:26] Maybe having two legs made him not the legendary Ben one leg.

[00:22:30] Oh, yeah.

[00:22:31] Yeah, so the ship had an identity crisis.

[00:22:34] Well, they rescue Dr. Deep and the treasure, but they have to find the black cloud to go through the dead zone.

[00:22:42] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:42] That's the name of a book by someone else.

[00:22:44] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:45] And probably also the name of a phenomenon that I'm unfamiliar with.

[00:22:49] So that the book would be named after, right?

[00:22:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:52] I thought the book was about a plague or something.

[00:22:55] No, it's about how – I was about to say it's about Christopher Walken.

[00:22:58] That's the movie.

[00:22:59] But it's about a guy who, like, dies – not legally – like, is, like, brain dead for a bit and comes back from the dead and then has the ability to see the future.

[00:23:08] Oh, did we watch it?

[00:23:10] We did watch it.

[00:23:10] Was it about the president?

[00:23:11] Yes.

[00:23:12] Oh, yeah.

[00:23:13] There's somebody running for president and he had to, like, stop it.

[00:23:15] Yeah, that was cool.

[00:23:16] That was Christopher Walken?

[00:23:17] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:18] Not the president.

[00:23:19] He's the main guy.

[00:23:20] Yeah, that was a good movie.

[00:23:21] I think we saw it twice.

[00:23:23] That also reminds me that we're talking about the book The Dead Zone, but we're really talking about the movie, so I don't know how they're different.

[00:23:28] I know my parents had a copy of the book, but yeah, you're right.

[00:23:31] It's almost the same as reading it.

[00:23:33] It's serious.

[00:23:33] I've dusted it.

[00:23:36] So Dr. D comes up with a, I think, hasty idea, which is we're in the dead zone, which is the world of the dead, and if we go back through the same black cloud, we'll go back to reality.

[00:23:50] Yeah.

[00:23:51] Oh, there goes gravity.

[00:23:53] But in fact, I think that would lead to a deader zone.

[00:23:56] Maybe.

[00:23:57] It just is like, you don't know that it's a portal.

[00:24:00] It could be just a thing that, I don't know.

[00:24:03] Pollution.

[00:24:03] Yeah, exactly.

[00:24:05] Well, for some reason, the skull remains as they go through the cloud.

[00:24:10] The rest of the treasure disappears.

[00:24:12] Yeah.

[00:24:12] Yeah.

[00:24:13] But the skull is no longer dangerous.

[00:24:15] It's just a fancy jewel.

[00:24:17] And then, though, over the radio speaker, they hear the song again.

[00:24:24] The bones they crack.

[00:24:25] The bones they creep.

[00:24:27] The men come alive in the briny deep.

[00:24:29] You ended our death.

[00:24:30] You ended our sleep.

[00:24:31] The men come alive in the briny deep.

[00:24:33] Which seems kind of upbeat.

[00:24:34] Like, did they come back to life?

[00:24:35] Good for them.

[00:24:36] But it'll come up again when we get to Horrorland, that little extra story that I think might

[00:24:42] be putting too many eggs in its basket.

[00:24:47] Well, taxonomies?

[00:24:48] Yeah.

[00:24:49] Submarine horror.

[00:24:51] Yeah.

[00:24:51] Submarines are fucking scary, man.

[00:24:53] Yeah.

[00:24:53] I think the scariest submarine story I've ever encountered is the cartoon of Yellow Submarine.

[00:24:59] I remember watching it when I was a little kid and my parents were like, oh, you'll

[00:25:02] like this.

[00:25:02] It's cartoons for kids.

[00:25:03] And I was like, what is happening?

[00:25:05] This doesn't make any sense.

[00:25:07] Who are these ugly men?

[00:25:08] Like, in a submarine?

[00:25:10] And what are these blue things?

[00:25:11] I remember finding it very scary.

[00:25:13] Yeah.

[00:25:14] Oh.

[00:25:15] And some other...

[00:25:16] Did you have submarine horror also?

[00:25:17] Oh.

[00:25:18] Okay.

[00:25:18] Well, some other examples I had were 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and, of course, Underwater

[00:25:22] featuring Kristen Stewart.

[00:25:24] Yeah.

[00:25:25] The idea that you're trapped under there, it's a lot like space horror in that there's

[00:25:31] no environment that can support you.

[00:25:33] It's maybe even weirder because you're still on Earth, but you also know that the pressure

[00:25:37] coming down on you would just absolutely destroy you.

[00:25:40] Yeah.

[00:25:41] And it's like a very unfamiliar part of Earth, too, where it doesn't feel like homely anymore.

[00:25:47] Yeah.

[00:25:47] I think submarines, they're just scary.

[00:25:49] Yeah.

[00:25:49] But also have this kind of quality of, like, being safe and apart.

[00:25:54] Because that's what's kind of cool in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is, like, Captain Nemo

[00:25:58] is running from colonialism and he's got this whole idea that he's going to detach from

[00:26:03] basically the nation state.

[00:26:05] And, yeah, I feel like there's...

[00:26:08] At the same time that those same elements make them scary, they also make them seem

[00:26:12] kind of appealing fortresses of solitude.

[00:26:15] Yeah.

[00:26:16] I can see that.

[00:26:16] It reminds me of the book On the Beach by Neville Shute, which is about basically the

[00:26:21] world ending because there's been nuclear war.

[00:26:23] And there's one submarine that happened to be in Australia, which is the last place

[00:26:27] to be affected by the radiation fallout.

[00:26:30] And they think they're getting messages from somewhere.

[00:26:33] And so they're hopeful that maybe there are still people left.

[00:26:37] So they take the submarine from Australia to the United States without surfacing.

[00:26:41] And I guess it's, like, one of the...

[00:26:43] It's longer than you're supposed to because you will go stir crazy in such a small space.

[00:26:47] Oh, wow.

[00:26:47] But they do it because they're so hopeful and then they get there and it's...

[00:26:50] There's an open window banging against, like, a transmitter.

[00:26:53] Oh.

[00:26:54] Yeah.

[00:26:54] Damn.

[00:26:55] Yeah.

[00:26:55] And they have to go back.

[00:26:56] Why do they have to go back?

[00:26:58] Because you can't really breathe the air.

[00:27:00] Oh.

[00:27:01] I think it's actually in Washington State where they go.

[00:27:03] Ooh.

[00:27:03] That's where we just were for my little brother's wedding.

[00:27:06] Goosepunk Will.

[00:27:07] Goosepunk Sammy.

[00:27:09] Many, you know, happy returns.

[00:27:11] I don't know.

[00:27:11] Congratulations.

[00:27:12] Yeah.

[00:27:13] Way to go.

[00:27:15] Well, my first one is No One's Looking For You.

[00:27:18] I'm going to mention some things that I've most likely mentioned on the pod before.

[00:27:22] The movie Frozen, but not the Disney version.

[00:27:24] It's about the people stuck in a ski lift.

[00:27:26] Open water.

[00:27:27] The descent.

[00:27:28] And then a short story by Roald Dahl called A Dip in the Pool,

[00:27:31] where a guy jumps in the ocean thinking someone's going to rescue him, but they don't.

[00:27:37] And –

[00:27:38] I love Roald Dahl.

[00:27:39] I mean, bad guy, but good at being upsetting.

[00:27:41] That story terrified me.

[00:27:43] Yeah.

[00:27:43] It's one of his stories for adults and it terrified me because just he's alone in the open ocean.

[00:27:47] This cruise ship that he was on is sailing away.

[00:27:49] No one knows that he fell overboard or jumped overboard.

[00:27:52] Yeah.

[00:27:52] I think there's something so horrifying about just this –

[00:27:57] I'm alone in this place that I can't survive and there's absolutely no hope.

[00:28:02] Mm-hmm.

[00:28:02] It's like a big part of Yellow Jackets too.

[00:28:04] It's like I don't know how long I need to be prepared to wait it out here or even if there's a point.

[00:28:09] Yeah.

[00:28:10] You know, if there's no hope of rescue.

[00:28:12] Yeah.

[00:28:13] My next one.

[00:28:14] I think you might also have.

[00:28:16] Zombie Pirates.

[00:28:17] I did not.

[00:28:18] Well, this book came out well into the success of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, which is probably the most famous zombie pirate franchise at the time.

[00:28:28] Although I think it's possible that Arlstein was thinking also about The Fog, which is about –

[00:28:34] I would say that.

[00:28:34] So it's not pirates, but it's a ship that has people going to like a leper colony.

[00:28:39] Mm-hmm.

[00:28:40] And the town deliberately crashed it and used the stolen gold from this leper colony venture to build their town.

[00:28:50] And so then the zombie crew, I think, comes back.

[00:28:55] Oh, that sounds like it could either be good or really terrible.

[00:28:58] Yeah.

[00:28:59] I think it would be cool.

[00:29:01] I think it's worth a watch.

[00:29:01] And there's also a 1970s trilogy, an Italian horror trilogy, that one of the installments in it is called The Ghost Galleon.

[00:29:13] And – oh, no, it's Spanish.

[00:29:15] And it's basically revenant cannibalistic knights Templar mummies who are floating around on a ship for some reason.

[00:29:26] And they take revenge on everybody that comes around them.

[00:29:29] And that got adapted into a direct-to-video movie in 2014 called Zombie Pirates.

[00:29:35] To the point.

[00:29:36] Yeah.

[00:29:36] So they became pirates.

[00:29:38] But, yeah, I guess – I don't know why you would overlap zombies with pirates instead of just making them be ghosts or, like, reanimated corpses.

[00:29:47] Are all reanimated corpses zombies?

[00:29:50] No, I don't think so.

[00:29:51] So – but it seems like the threat of pirates is really corporeal.

[00:29:56] So maybe a ghost just doesn't seem as threatening.

[00:29:59] Yeah.

[00:29:59] I think maybe there's an element, too, where we have this idea of pirates as being – they're under, like, an authoritarian control.

[00:30:06] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:06] Yeah.

[00:30:07] And that's, like, zombie-like, right?

[00:30:09] Well, I think what sets it apart from straightforward zombies is zombies often seem very aimless.

[00:30:14] Like, there's some where the zombies are more organized.

[00:30:16] But escaping to sea seems like one of the safer options in a zombie situation.

[00:30:20] Yeah.

[00:30:20] So you've got this, like, floating band of zombies who are also organized and have a purpose besides eating brains.

[00:30:27] Yeah.

[00:30:27] Yeah.

[00:30:28] Yeah, but, like, a single-minded purpose, similarly.

[00:30:31] Yeah.

[00:30:31] Which is gold, I guess.

[00:30:33] Yeah.

[00:30:34] I don't know what they're going to do with it.

[00:30:35] Like, what are they going to exchange it for?

[00:30:37] I think that the idea is they just hoard it, right?

[00:30:40] I feel like adventure stories have a very loose sense of what pirates are trying to do.

[00:30:45] Yeah.

[00:30:45] Yeah.

[00:30:46] I mean, I guess it's, like, maybe if you died protecting it, then it's not about the treasure anymore.

[00:30:52] It's just about that thing you were obsessed with before you died.

[00:30:54] Yeah.

[00:30:55] Yeah.

[00:30:55] Yeah, that's true.

[00:30:56] Unfinished business.

[00:30:57] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:59] Well, my next one was about recovering stolen remains.

[00:31:02] Mm-hmm.

[00:31:02] And we had some of that in the previous book with the shrunken head.

[00:31:06] Oh, that's true.

[00:31:07] Yeah.

[00:31:07] But this is about someone wanting to recover something personal to them.

[00:31:12] Yeah, return their stolen remains.

[00:31:13] Yes.

[00:31:14] And the thing that came to mind for me was the story The Big Toe from Scary Stories to Tell

[00:31:18] in the Dark.

[00:31:19] Yeah.

[00:31:19] Where it's like, you've taken something of mine that's really disgusting, give it back.

[00:31:24] And the person's, for some reason, a little bit oblivious to, like, why it's weird that

[00:31:28] they have it.

[00:31:29] Yeah.

[00:31:30] And it's, I mean, that's part of the pirate thing, too, right?

[00:31:32] Like, don't steal from the dead.

[00:31:34] Like, oh, we're claiming this money as a curse on it.

[00:31:36] But so that when we just leave it here, you won't assume it's abandoned and take it.

[00:31:40] Mm-hmm.

[00:31:41] But it's even obviously more personal when it's a body part.

[00:31:44] Yeah.

[00:31:45] Property horror.

[00:31:46] Yeah.

[00:31:46] Well, in this case, it's body horror because it's about you not being whole in some way.

[00:31:53] Like, there's something that you had that you're supposed to have and someone just

[00:31:56] took it.

[00:31:56] And that's super fucked up.

[00:31:58] Yeah.

[00:31:58] But when you're dead, too, it's like your body is something people can just take.

[00:32:02] Like, it's an abandoned item.

[00:32:04] That's true.

[00:32:04] So you're trying to say, like, I didn't abandon it just because I'm not using it anymore.

[00:32:08] Leave it where I put it.

[00:32:09] Yeah.

[00:32:10] Or ask for it to be put.

[00:32:11] Yeah.

[00:32:11] It's really about the resting place thing, too.

[00:32:13] Yeah.

[00:32:14] I actually looked up The Big Toe on the Scary Stories wiki.

[00:32:18] And it had a German version.

[00:32:24] What a terrible place for a grave.

[00:32:32] Mm-hmm.

[00:32:32] So in the version that it was telling, like, the German version, it said, this family marries

[00:32:38] a child killer and buries him in a garden.

[00:32:41] Sorry.

[00:32:42] A family marries a child?

[00:32:43] Murders.

[00:32:43] Murders.

[00:32:43] Got it.

[00:32:44] This family murders a child killer, buries him in a garden, and moves.

[00:32:48] And then a new family moves in.

[00:32:50] They are digging in the garden.

[00:32:51] And they find the toe.

[00:32:52] They cook it.

[00:32:53] As you do.

[00:32:54] And he comes to life looking for it.

[00:32:56] And then when he comes into their house saying, where's my toe?

[00:33:00] Or the father says, he looks just as good as he tasted and chops his head off.

[00:33:05] And they eat the rest of him.

[00:33:06] Because it turns out they're cannibals.

[00:33:08] Wow.

[00:33:09] I feel like that's such a better version of the story.

[00:33:11] Yeah.

[00:33:11] Who wrote that?

[00:33:12] Do you know?

[00:33:12] Or is it like a folktale?

[00:33:13] I think it's a folktale.

[00:33:14] Because that's where Alvin Schwartz got all his stuff.

[00:33:17] Yeah, that's where he got all those things.

[00:33:19] And so there's different variations.

[00:33:20] But I think it makes more sense if they just ate this toe they found.

[00:33:24] Yeah.

[00:33:25] As opposed to just, oh, yeah, we'll put that toe in the soup.

[00:33:27] That is a rad story.

[00:33:28] And it makes a lot more sense.

[00:33:30] Uh-huh.

[00:33:30] And I love the twist, right?

[00:33:32] Yeah.

[00:33:32] And I think, if I recall correctly from Scary Stories, that the big toe story is grouped

[00:33:36] in one of the ones where you're supposed to tell people and shout at the end.

[00:33:40] You know, to like actually tell it out loud.

[00:33:42] So it makes more sense that this would be a...

[00:33:44] Girl Who Cred Monster, right?

[00:33:45] Yeah, exactly.

[00:33:46] Where the end, they're the monster.

[00:33:49] Cool.

[00:33:50] Thanks.

[00:33:50] I think so too.

[00:33:52] My next one was Face Off.

[00:33:54] I think it looks really scary when someone rips their face off.

[00:33:57] Yeah, it does.

[00:33:58] And this has a lot of that in it.

[00:34:00] So did The Witches, Angelica Houston famously pulling her face off.

[00:34:05] Mars Attacks.

[00:34:06] It happens in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which Goldie and Roger basically are doing

[00:34:11] that, stealing people's faces and wearing them.

[00:34:14] And also in the episode of The X-Files, Sanquinarium, I remember like there's a scene

[00:34:19] where the guy is cutting off his own face and it's one of the most terrifying things

[00:34:23] that stood out to me, even as a lot of that episode makes no sense.

[00:34:26] Yeah.

[00:34:27] I mean, it scares people when, in a body horror way generally, when there's some kind

[00:34:32] of mutilation like that.

[00:34:32] But when it's the face especially and it's so tied with who you are.

[00:34:36] Yeah, it's the thing you recognize people by.

[00:34:38] And then it becomes this mockery when somebody else is wearing it.

[00:34:41] Right.

[00:34:42] My next one is being forced to trust somebody shady.

[00:34:46] Because I feel like that's really what's happening with Goldie and Roger.

[00:34:48] It's not that the kids are just thinking, oh yeah, these guys seem fine.

[00:34:53] They don't want to go with them.

[00:34:55] They don't have a better option.

[00:34:56] And that sort of being between a rock and a hard place also, I think, just hit me as

[00:35:03] a like, ooh, scary.

[00:35:06] The movie Barbarian plays with this a little bit, that first sequence where this woman shows

[00:35:11] up at an Airbnb.

[00:35:12] There's a guy there.

[00:35:13] It's unclear if he's shady or not.

[00:35:15] Oh.

[00:35:17] And Oddity, which we saw last night, where there's a guy outside the door being like,

[00:35:20] open the door, someone went into your house.

[00:35:22] And she has to decide, like, do I trust this scary guy outside my door?

[00:35:26] Or do I do the obvious thing and not let him in?

[00:35:29] Yes, exactly.

[00:35:30] Yes.

[00:35:31] Oddity was so good, y'all.

[00:35:32] If you haven't seen 2024, I believe, Oddity.

[00:35:35] It's an Irish horror movie.

[00:35:37] It's awesome.

[00:35:37] Other examples I thought of were 10 Cloverfield Lane and Misery.

[00:35:41] So yeah, just the idea that you have to rely on somebody who maybe also wishes you ill

[00:35:47] is also very scary.

[00:35:49] And it's probably a very scary thing about being a kid.

[00:35:51] Exactly.

[00:35:52] Yeah, well, I was thinking that's, like I've said a few times, that's what's already happening

[00:35:55] with them having to trust their parents to go to Dr. Deep's, them having to trust Dr.

[00:35:59] Deep when he keeps putting their lives at risk really negligently.

[00:36:04] Yeah.

[00:36:05] My final one is Dead Zone, where you have a thing in the world that takes you to a dead

[00:36:10] zone.

[00:36:11] Sorry, you have this as Dead Zone, but you didn't remember that we had watched the movie

[00:36:15] Dead Zone twice?

[00:36:15] No, I didn't.

[00:36:16] And I did not look it up again.

[00:36:19] I just, yeah.

[00:36:20] Yeah.

[00:36:21] But anyway, I think we might have talked about it when we read The Curse of Camp Cold Lake,

[00:36:26] which was the more pressing intertext in my head, because they go through the lake and

[00:36:30] it leads them to a dead underworld too.

[00:36:33] Yeah, that's right.

[00:36:34] Right.

[00:36:35] So possibly the same force in the Steinverse.

[00:36:37] There's also Dante's Divine Comedy, of course, right up there with R.L.

[00:36:42] Stein.

[00:36:42] Almost.

[00:36:43] Oh, this was something I meant to bring up with you.

[00:36:46] So Amityville 3D, have you heard of that?

[00:36:48] I, yeah, yes.

[00:36:49] When I was looking up Amityville sequels for last time, I think it showed up.

[00:36:54] Because this is that moment in the 2000s, right, where everyone's like, 3D, everything.

[00:36:58] 3D is the future.

[00:36:59] And all look like garbage.

[00:37:00] But this one has, you didn't tell me, it has Lori Loughlin and Meg Ryan in it.

[00:37:05] I don't think I got past the title.

[00:37:06] I don't think I looked about anything about it.

[00:37:08] Well, it centers around a guy named Stephen Kaplan, who is kind of the enemy of the Warrens.

[00:37:16] And he's always out to like disprove them.

[00:37:19] He's skeptic.

[00:37:20] He's a real guy.

[00:37:21] And the movie's kind of about him.

[00:37:22] But anyway, there's a dead zone.

[00:37:23] He's also a self-proclaimed vampirologist.

[00:37:25] So I don't know how much of a skeptic he can be.

[00:37:28] Cool.

[00:37:28] Let's watch it.

[00:37:30] And there's also a 1970s movie called The Sentinel starring Jeff Goldblum, Christopher Walken,

[00:37:37] and the guy who played Mickey in the Rocky movies, his coach, where there's like a portal to hell in the basement.

[00:37:45] That sounds great.

[00:37:46] It sounds really cool.

[00:37:47] Let's watch that too.

[00:37:47] I want to double feature Amityville 3D and The Sentinel.

[00:37:51] But anyway.

[00:37:51] That'll be a weird night.

[00:37:53] Yeah.

[00:37:54] Weirdly delightful.

[00:37:56] But I guess it's just like this idea when you're in unknown zones, like the briny deep would be one,

[00:38:02] that it could be not only a portal to your death literally, but maybe there is a portal to some bizarro world.

[00:38:09] Yeah.

[00:38:09] You don't know.

[00:38:11] I don't.

[00:38:12] My last one is A Rich Fantasy Life.

[00:38:16] Some examples would be Pan's Labyrinth and I Saw the TV Glow, where there is something unreal that is helping you through trauma or getting you through something.

[00:38:28] Because it really seems like Billy is leaning on this undersea mutant thing to get through all these really scary things and to survive this situation.

[00:38:36] Yeah.

[00:38:36] I think that's totally correct.

[00:38:37] And that's what many anxious children are doing with the Goosebumps books.

[00:38:41] Hey.

[00:38:42] Yeah.

[00:38:43] And the adventure stories, you know, that they are in the tradition of.

[00:38:47] Yeah.

[00:38:48] Very true.

[00:38:49] Do you have any theories or queries?

[00:38:52] I have queries.

[00:38:54] Who made the skull?

[00:38:55] Who buried the treasure in the first place?

[00:38:56] I was realizing this is something that bothers me about pirate stories.

[00:38:59] Like, ah, there's this treasure buried here.

[00:39:01] I was like, but why was it buried there?

[00:39:02] I think we needed to do some research into the 18th century that I did not do, surprisingly.

[00:39:08] As I was reading that, I'm like, oh, yes, I used to do that once in the 1780s.

[00:39:13] I mean, I assume what is happening, this is just me making stuff up.

[00:39:19] But, like, we got some British guys or Spanish or whatever, and they're sailing around, going off to places where gold comes from, like Africa or whatever, stealing it, hiding it, trying to shadily, like, you know, do that Ozark thing.

[00:39:37] Like, wander it.

[00:39:38] Wander it, yeah.

[00:39:40] That's what I would guess.

[00:39:42] Yeah, you're probably right.

[00:39:43] And then why carve it into a skull?

[00:39:45] I mean, if you're in a trade that is very violent and scary and dangerous, you sometimes kind of lean into it.

[00:39:54] I mean, I guess I was, as you were saying that, I was like, oh, I have a tattoo of a skull and skeleton, so I'm not, like, yeah, you just do it because it looks cool.

[00:40:02] I think it's partly because it looks cool.

[00:40:04] I mean, isn't that how the Venus of Willendorf was made?

[00:40:07] I remember in my art history class, they were, like, the little divot that's its belly button supposedly is natural.

[00:40:14] It wasn't carved in, and it's like someone looked at it and were like, that stone reminds me of a belly button.

[00:40:19] Now I'll carve the rest of the person.

[00:40:21] Otherwise, as I say it, that seems highly improbable.

[00:40:23] Yeah.

[00:40:24] I guess my point is they're, like, really living on the edge and maybe that – okay, Mad Max.

[00:40:30] There's a good example.

[00:40:31] Remember how all the baddies in Mad Max are always, like, wearing fiery skull guitar stuff?

[00:40:38] Yeah.

[00:40:38] Yeah.

[00:40:39] Yeah.

[00:40:39] It's like, I'm extreme.

[00:40:41] I'm not scared.

[00:40:42] I'm scary.

[00:40:43] Yeah, yeah.

[00:40:43] I love scary shit.

[00:40:45] Yeah.

[00:40:45] Like that.

[00:40:46] Can't relate.

[00:40:47] No.

[00:40:47] Why do you have a skull tattoo?

[00:40:49] It was a Memento Mori tattoo.

[00:40:51] And that means?

[00:40:52] It means remember death.

[00:40:54] And –

[00:40:54] We got it in honor of our wedding.

[00:40:56] Yeah.

[00:40:56] You got one too.

[00:40:57] Yeah.

[00:40:57] Not a skull, but bones.

[00:40:58] Yeah.

[00:40:59] Well, I just feel like maybe that's a little bit with these pirates.

[00:41:01] They're like, I'm not afraid of death.

[00:41:02] I know it's coming and it's fine.

[00:41:04] Yeah.

[00:41:05] I imagine death so much it feels almost like a memory.

[00:41:08] When's it going to get me?

[00:41:10] What I was going to say is they probably didn't carve it.

[00:41:12] I don't think they were sitting there, like, with their tools.

[00:41:14] Oh.

[00:41:14] Like, I think they robbed someone and got it.

[00:41:17] So somebody else did it.

[00:41:18] So maybe it was for, like, a Habsburg crypt or something like that.

[00:41:22] Yeah.

[00:41:22] Well, somebody was trying to scare somebody, I guess, and think about death.

[00:41:26] Yeah.

[00:41:26] But what I want to know also, relatedly, is why do dead pirates want money?

[00:41:32] That was my one question and I don't feel like I have an answer.

[00:41:37] Yeah.

[00:41:37] That is a good question.

[00:41:39] The best I can do is that answer of I was obsessed with this when I died and so it's

[00:41:44] going to be my obsession forever.

[00:41:45] So it's not really about the money anymore.

[00:41:47] But yes.

[00:41:48] Because, like, what happens when they get the treasure?

[00:41:50] I guess the Scarlet Skull sinks.

[00:41:52] Oh, wait.

[00:41:52] No.

[00:41:52] They don't give it to them.

[00:41:53] So, I mean, it sort of seems like a memento situation where if you actually get the thing,

[00:41:59] it's not satisfying.

[00:42:00] Yeah.

[00:42:00] You have to always be chasing it if you're dead.

[00:42:02] Oh, damn.

[00:42:02] You're right.

[00:42:03] So they got the treasure back.

[00:42:04] Do you think that's…

[00:42:04] They didn't, though.

[00:42:05] That's what I remembered is they hadn't brought it from the Cassandra because they took it

[00:42:09] back with them.

[00:42:10] Or I guess they didn't take it back with them.

[00:42:12] So, yeah.

[00:42:12] I can only think of obsession.

[00:42:14] Mm-hmm.

[00:42:15] Because, yeah, they're not going to spend it on anything.

[00:42:17] Yeah.

[00:42:17] They're dead.

[00:42:18] They're dead fishermen.

[00:42:19] Maybe they're dead shopkeepers.

[00:42:20] Maybe…

[00:42:21] Oh, that's true.

[00:42:22] Maybe it's hard to make a living in the world of the dead.

[00:42:25] You're right.

[00:42:25] I am totally being small-minded.

[00:42:27] They probably want to use the money to go buy dead sandwiches.

[00:42:33] Fabric that's not rotting.

[00:42:34] Yeah.

[00:42:34] I don't know.

[00:42:35] I have no idea.

[00:42:36] I mean, it doesn't make more sense for gold to have, like, value in the living world either.

[00:42:42] Except that we've all agreed that it does and you can exchange it for stuff.

[00:42:45] I didn't agree to that.

[00:42:46] You don't really exchange gold for stuff anymore, but at least not, you know, gold coins.

[00:42:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:42:52] All right.

[00:42:53] Is it time to enter the horror verse?

[00:42:54] Yes.

[00:42:55] And I'm getting a little nervous about it.

[00:42:57] I've read a couple of books ahead at this point and I'm like, you can't keep adding

[00:42:59] characters.

[00:43:00] Yeah.

[00:43:00] You can't do it.

[00:43:02] This isn't all going to come together.

[00:43:03] It's the opposite of what I said about the main stories themselves, which are very nicely

[00:43:07] coming together.

[00:43:08] Yeah.

[00:43:08] I'm striking.

[00:43:10] I've also read a couple of books ahead and it's – so I've read four and three of them

[00:43:14] use characters from the original books.

[00:43:17] And if you're going to reboot them, why not just, like, start fresh?

[00:43:22] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:22] Because the original audience is – I guess they were re-releasing them at this point.

[00:43:26] Yeah.

[00:43:26] So they thought that, oh –

[00:43:27] Because I think they re-released them with added material too.

[00:43:30] Yeah.

[00:43:31] But yes, I'm concerned that when we get actually to the Horrorland novel, it's going

[00:43:36] to be a mess.

[00:43:37] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:37] Because I don't remember names.

[00:43:39] I remember names of people I know and like.

[00:43:41] Is there a Horrorland novel?

[00:43:43] Oh, you're right.

[00:43:44] So all of this is building to getting its own book.

[00:43:47] Yeah.

[00:43:47] It's like the final Twilight where you have, like, 2,000 characters in it by the end.

[00:43:51] Yeah.

[00:43:51] Well, so what kind of happens is Billy and she and I are back on land and they see – so

[00:43:58] far, so good.

[00:43:59] They also have the special ticket that Molly and Brittany had.

[00:44:02] And they run into them and guess what one of them is wearing?

[00:44:06] Like, white tennis shorts.

[00:44:08] Ah.

[00:44:09] Yeah.

[00:44:09] Good to be home.

[00:44:09] It's like the good old days.

[00:44:10] Yeah.

[00:44:11] Well, they end up getting separated from Brittany and Molly during a sand trap.

[00:44:18] Oh, yeah.

[00:44:19] But like right before that, they also find a magic camera that shows stuff that's going

[00:44:22] to happen in the future.

[00:44:24] Like, there's a lot of, like, throwbacks that don't really totally link up.

[00:44:27] But yeah, then they go into a quicksand.

[00:44:31] Experience.

[00:44:32] Experience.

[00:44:33] And they can hear the dead pirate chant.

[00:44:35] Yeah.

[00:44:37] So Horrorland is somehow keyed into their specific traumas.

[00:44:41] Yeah.

[00:44:41] It's like they are in some kind of immersive haunt where there is a pre-haunt experience

[00:44:47] where you get kidnapped or something.

[00:44:49] You get a pre-scare.

[00:44:50] Yeah.

[00:44:50] It's like a bespoke one.

[00:44:52] Yeah.

[00:44:53] Tailored to your past traumas.

[00:44:55] Yeah.

[00:44:56] Right.

[00:44:56] So they lose Brittany and Molly and then they go wander around.

[00:44:59] And it reminds me what I like about Horrorland is that you can't tell where the artifice

[00:45:05] ends and the danger begins.

[00:45:06] Mm-hmm.

[00:45:07] And in their small examples, like, this woman is selling him all these disgusting flavors

[00:45:11] of ice cream and one is liver and onions and he tastes it and he's like, ah, it's vanilla

[00:45:15] or whatever.

[00:45:16] It's chocolate.

[00:45:16] It's chocolate.

[00:45:17] Yeah.

[00:45:17] Yeah.

[00:45:18] A horror is reading Scary People magazine, which honestly sounds like a cool magazine.

[00:45:25] But yeah, again, it's like, oh, is this like a novelty magazine they sell in the park or

[00:45:28] is this, are the horrors are real people?

[00:45:31] Mm-hmm.

[00:45:32] They think they hear Captain Ben.

[00:45:34] So they start running and they run into a boy who looks familiar, who has brown hair,

[00:45:42] brown eyes, and a sleeveless black t-shirt.

[00:45:44] We don't know who he is, but he's going around tapping this gray card on games and it seems

[00:45:49] to be some kind of cheat code because then he can win the games, which otherwise are rigged.

[00:45:53] And the horrors are pretty pissed about that.

[00:45:55] Yeah.

[00:45:55] I think this is kind of like a mafia run casino situation.

[00:45:58] Yeah.

[00:45:59] Or, you know, like most theme parks where you can't really win the games.

[00:46:02] Yeah.

[00:46:02] And so Matt, we're going to learn it's Matt, passes the card off to Billy so that when the

[00:46:08] horrors try and take it from him, he doesn't have it.

[00:46:11] Yeah.

[00:46:12] They try calling the hotel operator and they can hear Captain Long Ben, one leg, laughing

[00:46:17] on the other end of the phone.

[00:46:19] And then they go find Matt again.

[00:46:23] And he says that a horror had given him the card and looked nervous and said it would take

[00:46:28] him places.

[00:46:29] And then they run into Brittany and Molly again, who are sitting in front of a mirror.

[00:46:35] Yeah.

[00:46:35] There's this really weird spatial situation where they are able to get somewhere they're not

[00:46:39] supposed to with a card.

[00:46:40] They see into a cafe.

[00:46:43] They go in to find them, but they're not there.

[00:46:46] And then Sheena goes invisible.

[00:46:48] So I want to know what you think about this, because I remember one of the things that you

[00:46:54] really liked about the original Horrorland was it was kind of this fly by all these different

[00:47:00] cool ideas really quickly.

[00:47:02] And here I feel like that's been accelerated.

[00:47:05] It has.

[00:47:06] So the thing is, I still like that about it.

[00:47:10] I think I'm a little distracted by just all of the characters and trying to get all of the

[00:47:14] kids from all of the books into it.

[00:47:16] And I too am dreading, like, is this going to be a huge mess when we get to the new one?

[00:47:22] Or will it provide us answers to questions we've been seeking?

[00:47:26] Like, how is the camera from Seichi's and Di related to the mirror from Let's Get Invisible,

[00:47:31] you know, if at all?

[00:47:32] Yeah.

[00:47:33] We were asking all these questions.

[00:47:34] Maybe we just needed to wait and read Horrorland.

[00:47:37] Well, one thing.

[00:47:38] Yeah, maybe.

[00:47:38] I'm sure there are listeners who are like, yes, you did.

[00:47:41] But I wonder, is it like the horrors have been reading the books and now they are kind

[00:47:49] of putting it all together?

[00:47:50] Or is it like they've been the source, actually, of all the different evils that the kids in

[00:47:54] these books have encountered?

[00:47:56] Well, that or they're surveilling them somehow.

[00:47:59] Didn't that happen in the first book?

[00:48:00] They're really watching.

[00:48:01] Yeah.

[00:48:02] They follow them home, remember?

[00:48:03] They're like, here's free return.

[00:48:05] Yeah.

[00:48:05] But like, man, what a logistical nightmare that would be.

[00:48:10] Like, did they follow them into the dead zone?

[00:48:12] I don't know.

[00:48:13] Or is there some way they have of like reading their minds?

[00:48:15] Like in The Menu, right?

[00:48:18] Where they've been watching them all on social media and figuring out what they want to eat

[00:48:22] and stuff like that.

[00:48:23] You know what?

[00:48:23] I'm thinking of The Bear, actually.

[00:48:25] Remember in The Bear?

[00:48:26] They're like, oh, there's this like, it was the Spoons episode.

[00:48:28] And they're like, oh, this couple has been wanting to come to this restaurant for however

[00:48:32] long.

[00:48:32] And so we're going to show them a really nice time and not charge them.

[00:48:35] It's also The Menu, though.

[00:48:36] They show that they've been like doing research on them.

[00:48:39] Like, here are the documents you've doctored or whatever.

[00:48:42] But yeah, the horrors are like just really going out of their way to be good entertainment

[00:48:47] providers to the point that it's creepy.

[00:48:51] Well, that's the whole point is to be creepy.

[00:48:53] Oh, yeah.

[00:48:54] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:48:54] I hope we got some answers.

[00:48:57] Well, GoosePunks, what do you think?

[00:48:58] Will this all come together or will it be really kind of stressful?

[00:49:04] On a scale of one to five bewares, what would you rate Creep from the Deep?

[00:49:08] Um, three.

[00:49:10] Yeah, I'd say so, too.

[00:49:11] That's good.

[00:49:12] Yeah, a lot of logistics, like here's how you get from there to there.

[00:49:16] Here's how you pilot a submersible.

[00:49:18] And I just, Billy's just not my favorite character.

[00:49:20] Yeah.

[00:49:21] But he's fine.

[00:49:22] Yeah, yeah.

[00:49:23] He's fine, but not exciting, personally.

[00:49:26] Yeah.

[00:49:27] What are we reading next week?

[00:49:28] We are reading...

[00:49:29] Monster Blood for Breakfast.

[00:49:31] Monster Blood for Breakfast.

[00:49:32] What a gross name for a book that was kind of cool.

[00:49:34] Yeah.

[00:49:35] If you want to get in touch and tell us that all of our questions will be answered,

[00:49:39] if we're only patient enough, you can email us at saypodanddie at gmail.com.

[00:49:43] Or you can get in touch with us on Instagram at saypodanddie.

[00:49:47] And we don't have TikTok, and we probably never will.

[00:49:50] We'll wait for the next thing.

[00:49:53] Listener beware.

[00:49:54] Those are the scares.

[00:49:56] Good boo.

[00:49:56] Good boo.

[00:50:00] The ship is called the Scarlet Skull, Dr. D said.

[00:50:04] Perfect name for a pirate ship, right?

[00:50:06] He took a long sip of papaya juice.

[00:50:09] According to legend, the ship sank in the late 1780s.

[00:50:12] And it took millions of dollars of jewels and gold treasure down with it.

[00:50:16] And we're going to find the treasure and be billionaires, I cried.

[00:50:19] I jumped up and pumped my fists in the air.

[00:50:21] Sheena grabbed me and pulled me back down.

[00:50:23] Billy, were you born immature?

[00:50:25] If we find the treasure, it will all go to the Carrivo Dolphin Rescue Fund, Dr. D said.

[00:50:29] I'd be thrilled to find it, but I'm a scientist, not a treasure hunter.

[00:50:33] How did the pirate ship go down?

[00:50:35] Sheena asked.

[00:50:36] This is where the story gets weird.

[00:50:38] And this is what I want to investigate.

[00:50:40] The reports at the time said there were two pirate ships.

[00:50:43] They were sailing in view of each other.

[00:50:45] It was a calm, clear day.

[00:50:46] The ocean waves were flat and gentle.

[00:50:49] And suddenly, a swirling black cloud swept over the water.

[00:50:51] The Scarlet Skull sailed into the cloud and disappeared.

[00:50:55] The black cloud passed and the pirate ship had vanished.

[00:50:59] The pirates on the other ship stood staring, waiting for it to reappear.

[00:51:02] But it was never seen again.